Ever since she killed Damon ‘Harry’ Harris (Robert Beck) at Christmas in Emmerdale, Charity Dingle (Emma Atkins)’s mental health has been on a downward spiral.
Even though the police were satisfied it was an accident, even though she knows that if Harry hadn’t died in that moment he would certainly have killed Mackenzie (Lawrence Robb), nothing helps her to feel better.
She hasn’t been sleeping, she’s been snappy and angry with Moses, she’s attacked Moira (Natalie J. Robb) and she jumps at sudden noises. And in coming weeks this is only set to get worse until she commits another terrible act.
Emma Atkins told us what Charity is going through.
‘Charity’s guilt is just overflowing and she can’t function as a mum, a partner,’ she said.
‘She’s left reeling with this shock and I think that shock mentality is making her close off from everyone. She’s trying to compartmentalise it but unfortunately because of the PTSD she’s suffering from, she’s experiencing that panic where as soon as she hears a noise it immediately takes her back to that place where she was tussling with the gun. She’s in constant high alert mode and it’s making her ill.
‘I think everyone around her is concerned but in order to create a safe space she’s decided she’s better off on her own so she starts to alienate herself.
‘She thinks she can go to work but Chas (Lucy Pargeter) sees that she’s not good so sends her home and she starts to realise that everyday life is never going to be the same so thinks it’s better to draw the curtains, sit on the sofa and stay put. I think people around her are realising she’s not very well.’
Charity is known to be a very tough woman and she’s needed to be resilient, having survived traumatic abuse when she was younger. This time her old coping mechanisms aren’t working, Emma explained.
‘It’s the reality that she can’t put this right, there’s no going back. Her body and mind can’t physically erase the trauma she has been through,’ she reasoned.
‘With everything else she’s been able to put it in a box and compartmentalise. But with this it’s spilling over into unknown territory. She’s never experienced this before and she has no idea what to do. She’s never been in this situation. What’s triggered her the most is [Harry’s] mother saying she’s lost her son. She has children of her own so she is aware of what that must be like. It’s hellish knowing she can’t put this right.’
Although people around her have started to realise how much Charity is struggling and doctor Liam (Jonny McPherson) offers to help, Charity doesn’t believe anything will work. Her state of mind is terrifying, as Emma told us.
‘She’s suffering from what I can only describe as severe sleep deprivation,’ she said. ‘I spoke to a psychologist about this and sleep deprivation can be a terrible form of mental torture. You’re not seeing the world as a balanced human being, you’re seeing it from a very different perspective.
She added: ‘Everything feels hyper. She’s hyper-vigilant, she’s hyper-alert. Her vulnerability levels are through the roof. She’s scared of everything and so she lies there trying to sleep and when she finally falls asleep she suffers night terrors which are really disturbing.
‘She’s seeing Harry and she’s hearing and seeing the gun go off. It’s creating this awful sense of fear that she’s never experienced before. When she finally falls asleep she disturbed from the noise of a car and then a bin being knocked over and when she hears this she assumes Harry or Harry’s gang is coming for her. She fears vengeance will be done.
‘She’s constantly locking the doors and when she falls asleep on the sofa, she gets woken up by the car and she runs to the drawer to find any kind of self defence.’
It’s when she’s in this frightening state of mind that Mackenzie comes home and unwittingly puts himself in danger.
Emma described what happens next.
‘Mackenzie lets himself into the house and she’s having a night terror and he walks round the sofa, realises that she’s dreaming and gently touches her leg. Charity immediately lashes out thinking it’s something more sinister, when in actual fact it’s just Mackenzie.
‘And this is when all hell breaks loose and she lashes out at him leaving him gravely injured…’
Will Mackenzie survive? And will Charity ever be able to live with herself if he doesn’t?
