Incredible. Absolutely shaking. Utterly mesmerising.
Just some of the phrases I have seen attributed to EastEnders king Steve McFadden, aka legendary TV character Phil Mitchell.
It’s impossible to even question it. In fact, he’s not just one of EastEnders’ finest actors – he’s one of the best in Britain by a long chalk.
You don’t have to have seen a single episode of EastEnders to know who Phil Mitchell is.
Steve has always played menacing yet vulnerable, angry yet funny incredibly well.
He is a well deserved stalwart of the show and Walford is unimaginable without him.
It’s never been in doubt already that he shatters the stereotypical sceptcism and snobbery around soap actors.
But recently, at the centre of a depression and psychosis story for his alter-ego, Steve has really shown what he is made of.
Many in the UK can relate to mental health struggles in some way, with statistics around male suicide incredibly high.
In a slow burn storyline, commencing before most viewers even clicked there was anything wrong with Phil, he has sunk into loneliness and despair.
He has cut himself off from family, fallen into hermit-like behaviour and found his house becoming messy.
He has had a tough life, often of his own making. In a particularly poignant scene from his most recent episode, which saw him reach the edge in the midst of being taken back to his damaging past, he was speaking to Jay (Jamie Borthwick) about how his body refused to die.
His talking fast and slurred, his words erratic, his refusal to look at Jay while talking, and his choked and tearful voice, Steve delivered Phil’s desperate cry for help in an impeccable way.
I, like many others, have been there. Steve, whether through personal knowledge or extensive research, captured that bleakness perfectly.
Phil listed everything that should have k.i.l.l.e.d him – alcoholism, violence, heart attacks, shootings to name but a few – and still, he had been unable to d.i.e.
With suicidal ideation, it was clear where Phil’s mind was travelling. We have seen him make financial gestures amid a fluctuating mood – some classic signs of potential danger.
Even in smaller scenes where he has refused social and family invitations but insisted repeatedly that he’s fine, I have been left close to tears.
Like actors in the UK given far, far more acclaim, he is hypnotic with every word he delivers and every physical gesture he makes.
He is not given the credit he deserves and, notoriously private and keen to just focus on his craft, I imagine this is something that he takes in his stride.
Steve isn’t in it for the fame or the popularity; he has said in the past that he deliberately doesn’t dissect his own acting in interviews as it takes the magic away.
But whatever his approach is, it works – there is a pretty much unanimous view that he is a UK national treasure.
Amid snobbery towards soaps, there are many examples of shining stars, some who remain with the shows and some who go on to other things.
But soap isn’t just a training ground for actors who then flourish elsewhere, it’s a home of some absolutely incredibly performances.
Steve McFadden is the ultimate testament to that.
